Saturday, December 15, 2007

Editing is very, very scary

Last year I finished NaNoWriMo and said “I am never doing that again. It is not possible to write a novel in a month.” For all my meticulous outlining and my 70,000 words I didn't feel like I had something I loved.

But I am not a creature of logic; I did it again. This year my goal was to write something that I loved enough to carry through the editing process. NaNoWriMo is a fair goal depending on what you want from it. I find the parts of my brain that create just work faster under a deadline. I daydream half the time anyway, it just isn't as focused.

And I am terrified. I see my novel looming before me, full of spelling errors and misplaced characters, full of subplots that vanish and ideas that never have use.

I read a bit and thought it was okay. I worked through a chapter summary to figure out what story I was telling and found something completely different. Now I'm stuck, just like last year, with the novel I wrote and the one I wish I wrote and I don't even know which is better. I know there are huge portions that need writing, but I don't know what they are or where they are which means I'm going to be writing and editing at the same time.

But this is all silliness. I have no reason to be frightened because I have nothing to lose. Well, actually I do. I have my deadline set out and people agreeing to read my novel when it is presentable in June. If I make a major mistake and let it remain I will feel moral guilt for destroying my art and my characters will never forgive me.

I really have no choice in the matter, I must be afraid and I must do it right.


Old-Things said...

Hi Liosis - Thanks for your thoughts on my blog...I don't really think that Southern Canada is a wasteland - but you have to admit that the North is. Honest post. I think if you look at the kind of writing you describe as just practice for discipline that it will be less frustrating. -adam

Liosis said...

Yeah, it really is isn't it? I live in the wet part, so I can't even imagine Canada as snowy sometimes.

You are quite welcome, and thank you for yours.

Gina Conroy said...

Thank you for joining in on the discussion about the Golden Compass.

Although I didn't do Nano this year, I am in the middle of editing my novel and I'm about 1/2 way through and losing my momentum. I understand what you are saying, but keep going until you know you're done or that it can't be fixed! :) You're welcome to stop by we have lots of great posts to help you through this process!