Hoffman Chapter 4: Examining a Sentence

I hear the murmur of conversation from the mezzanine and take a step forward out of the stairwell. A soft red carpet muffled my steps.

Analysing my writing process:

1. It took me time to find a sentence to write. I started with nonfiction but switched to fiction so I could continue a story I've been working on.

2. I restarted the sentence a few times because it was too generic and didn't really set the scene like I wanted it to.

3. Initially I thought the library should be quiet, but a truly quiet library can be frightening and I wanted my character to feel happy in the space.

4. I struggled not to write multiple sentences. Generally I would have cut it off after 'mezzanine' and started a new sentence. Whenever I use uncommon words I tend to make the sentences shorter and then start off again. I think it is to avoid being too colourful in my language. I'm not sure if it is useful or not.

5. I edited the sentence quite a few times to capture what I wanted. Initially I just said 'a murmur' but I wanted it to be more concrete.

6. In the end I added a second sentence.

I almost bumped into a tired grey haired man in glasses as I stared four stories up into the library, towards a grey sky. I touched his shoulder to steady him. "Are you ok?"

The tiredness and some of the grey disappeared in a moment and he smiled at me and whispered back. "Yes, I'm fine dear. Are you new here? The library is certainly the best part, and it isn't just for looks either! What do you study dear?"

"I am new, how did you know?" I lowered my voice. "I'm in the medieval studies department. I have class in an hour so I thought I'd find the library."

"And did you?" 

"I think so. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Me too. Come let's stand in the stairwell where we won't interrupt people. You can tell me your name."

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Evaluating a character

1. This character feels a little stilted, but I think he grows with writing. I based him on the sort of people I meet accidentally, particularly kind old folks.

2. I started simply with the idea that it was someone who wasn't a student . I think it may end up being her teacher. 

3. It seems a little suspect that everyone is as enthralled by architecture as the protagonist, but there you go.

4. I feel like the protagonist is starting to get her own voice. She started as simply 'what if I was in grad school right now?' I'm interested to see how she will develop.