Carrot Juice Constitutes Murder

This song was my introduction to The Arrogant Worms. I love them. This is brilliant.

I like to argue. I like to argue things that do not have ethical implications, because that way you can enjoy the argument without getting the opposing party upset. If I say, eating meat is wrong I cross into the ethical. If I say, eating vegetables is wrong I cross into the absurd. As a young philosophy student I love nothing more then the absurd. It is our version of humour.

Now you must understand, the fact that everything is alive is not an argument against being vegetarian. The fact that some vegetarians eat fish is not an argument against being vegetarian. Just because people are hypocrits doesn't make them wrong. Let us assume Aristotles definition of the soul. Aristotle defined the soul as the propensity for motion.

When you eat a vegetable you are eating something which has a soul. A carrot planted in the ground will still grow, as will a potato. Beans are little sleeping plants and hold within them the essence of life. It isn't even safe to eat dirt because dirt contains tiny microbes. So you are left with water. But wait! Don't you know that tiny life forms have been killed to make your tap water safe for consumption. All food was once alive, and anything that wasn't isn't really food. I'm eating living things. I'm monstrous. Living is wrong! Anyone have a rope?

The solution is, as my medieval philosophy teacher says, 'completely obvious to the meanest intellect on the briefest reflection.' Aristotle is Greek. Greece didn't have vegetarians. Greece had Pythagoreans. Pythagoreans were against 'feeding flesh with flesh.' It is a simple and beautiful definition of what I wish to embrace.